Pseminal Pseud – The Charles Bukowski that sings
November 1993
No byline given.

Age: Of Reason (okay, 32)

Appearance. Rupert Everett’s school chum; Tanita Tikaram’s older brother

Distinguishing Features: Pout, tuck shop laugh-lines, stubble

Background: Born in Buxton, son of Brenda and Brian. Confused childhood: supports Chelsea, plays golf, wears ,velvet trousers, buys Born To Run, goes punk. Forms Vile Bodies, they never play. Parents move, leave Lloyd behind. He becomes a professional student. Goes to UCL to study law. Drops out. Goes to Glasgow Uni to study English, Philosophy etc. Forms Commotions. Drops out. They record Rattlesnakes, the 96th best album of all time (so NME reckoned in 1984, anyway). Follow up with Easy Pieces (very successful) and Mainstream (flop). Split Up. Lloyd moves to New York, grows hair, plays pool, gets beer gut–classic case of Mickey Rourke Syndrome. Records first solo album (can you remember the title? We can’t). Marries, tries again with an orchestra (Don’t Get Weird On Me, Babe). Even less successful. Has a son, William, gets angry with nouveau hippies and records ‘So You’d Like To Change The World’ and Bad Vibes.

Dinner party conversation (I): Reminds me of when 1 was at University…

Dinner party conversation (2): 1 went to Poly…

Biggest career mistake: Confusing Polydor with Picador

Least likely to say: “Twenty Rothmans and a copy of The Sun, luv’

Most likely to say: “Oh, no, not another book token’

Those who owe a career to him: W H Smith, Waterstones, Foyles, The Groucho Club

Bedside reading: Norman Maiier (‘…or get yourself a new tailor, Jack Kerouac, Jeffrey Bernard, Jean-Paul Sartre

Ideal mode of transport, Deux Chevaux, naturellement

Biggest regret: Je regret rien

Not To Re Mistaken For-. Emily Lloyd, Lloyd’s Bank, Lloyd Grossman, Lloyd On Food, Cole Porter, Coleman’s Mustards, Coal bunker

Publication: Vox

Publication date: 30/11/1993